Monday Blues – Character

joandidion

Check this out https://www.brainpickings.org/2012/05/21/joan-didion-on-self-respect/

 

Silence

Even the loud waves crashing on the shore could not yet beat the deafening silence she left behind.

Note: Somehow for me, the above sentence feels complete!

 

In response to the Daily Prompts : Silence

Monday Blues – Struggle

beyou

You go, girl!!  “Believe that there is that something inside you that helps you out of any trouble, someone who miraculously brings to you solutions to your problems and help you find your way.All you now need is to take a deep breath and continue doing things with the new found confidence that somehow things will all come together and will result in something so beautiful or something about which you might not have thought about”

Picture courtesy : Pinterest

Train Memories

It’s been ages since I had travelled in a train,almost close to 2 years now.Once an integral part of my life, I almost lost the touch of “train travel”.

When I was first posted to Chennai as a Software Engineer,I remember the first time I had to travel alone on a train.My first journey in “Chennai Local“.I had made plans for this grand day for some time then as travelling by buses was a pain.But then,I struggled to get a ticket after standing in a queue for about half n hour at Tambaram station and missed the train which I was supposed to get.And while boarding the next one which was jam packed,I vowed to myself never to catch the local again.tambaram.jpg

But then I had to give it a chance once more.I bought a season ticket to avoid the long queues.I then observed and learned on train travel ettiquetes.I understood how to get into the train for starters, which part of ladies compartment will people be less occupied as in I might be able to stand,when to start from the “seat to door ” as you arrive at your station,how to stand near the doors,how to take minimal space to occupy a seat,how to observe people without them knowing,how to tie the shawl with only eyes popping outside,how to buy those small samosas and what not.Except for the “begging” part especially by children,everything about train journeys became awesome!!

Once we friends decided to go to a far away mall.But we could not and chose not to buy the tickets,just for the experience.Luckily the TTE caught us and made us pay a hefty fine which just put a hole in my monthly budget!!

The scariest yet memorable incident was like this.I was working late and the last train from Parannur was around 8:30.I didn’t know that at that time the station and the train would be so deserted.Anyways,I didn’t have a choice and I simply occupied a seat where there were other ladies.The train chugged for a few minutes but then came to a sudden halt.We started hearing loud noises and spark of lights and when tried to locate the source, we found that the electric connectivity between the train and the trasmission wires were in fire.It was a kind of Diwali🙂.Suddenly every one started screaming and started jumping off the compartment and ran.I too wanted to jump but only then it dawned on me that I am not at a platform.The trains were very tall and with no other way,I jumped  into the stone gravel.But now the next station to both ways was almost equal distance.It was very late and I didnt know what to do ? Meanwhile, my parents called me if I had reached,did I have dinner and the usual stuff.Though I was afraid and wanted to yell,somehow I managed to lock things in my heart.I had already started following the crowd,walked half a km climbed through thorny bushes and prickly stubs of shrubs and some how reached the highway.Walked a further more,took a bus to my home.I was shocked and shivering but I was happy that some how I faced the situtation without damages.That was the last time I travelled in a local train at night!!

Well the long distance train joureys were also fun.One time I almost witnessed two people having $ex .It was like the scene in movie “Enemey at the Gates“.I had occupied the lower side berth and from where I lie,I could see the upper berth.Now,In the middle of night,I woke up just like that and to my surprise couild see something but could not register what I was seeing.Welll,when I was conscious enough to understand what I was seeing,I didnt know what to do.I wanted to watch,but also not watch.I felt thristy but could not move my hand to lift the bottle and drink.Well,I simply slept again🙂.And the next morning,all I could do was grin ear to ear when I saw them sitting opposite to each other without even looking.

Another time I saw a couple waving good byes to each other in a way I guess only they could say.And one time I became friends with this elderly couple who were going to visit their only son and his family who was working in my hometown while I was travelling to my home from theirs.It seemed that their son didn’t have time to go home for the holidays.I could send the anger and the sadness that parents carried with them on not being able to spend time with their only son.I hope that one day their son realizes what he was doing! Sigh! Another one time,I slept off and didnt even knew that the train had reached its destination.It was a RPF officer who saw me happily sleeping and woke me up.He asked for the ticket and other stuff.Luckily the last stop was my hometown.It was a surprise visit to my home and no one was there to pick me up,else I would have got an earful about how careless I am.

And so many adventures and memories came to me as I had to travel in train,alone for past few days🙂

 

 

Monday Blues – Fear Not :)

TheLeap

Perfectly sums up all my fears😛.And yeah,I can really see how it can end as well!!🙂

Pic Courtsey : Pinterest.

Night

My mum left for her night shift,though I really begged her not to go.
It’s the third night in a row.

I shivered at the thought of spending it with my dad, alone…
In response to the Daily Prompt “Shiver”

Note:Inspired by an answer in Quora

Fear

I fear,
The whispers of peers
The coughs of strangers
I fear,
The loneliness in the crowd
And the suffocation in familiarity
I fear,
The ambitions and dreams I have
Not that I won’t achieve,but what If I achieve​ them ?
I fear,
I die without a legacy
I might never try t build one!
I fear,
I am brittle and is crushed by loved ones
But I know,I am strong enough to face a storm
I fear,
I knowingly choose the path
Though I knew,I wanted to go the less travelled one
I fear,
I die without a reason
I live every day,dying inside

 

I am not sure what I fear about! I know deep inside​ of me that I am capable of chasing and achieving my dreams and aspirations but the fear of moving and achieving is killing me.It hurts!! I ignore all those that things that maketh me.I ignore those feelings that scream to me and say,come one with me.
I choose to ignore and search for something which I know does not exists!