Monday Blues

april2

 

I was that shy and non-existent¬†kid in the school.And I still remember everyone searching for the person who stood first in their class, with such high marks that they themselves have never heard of and that too in one of the dreaded subjects and from the most terrorised teacher in the school.I believe even she was surprised!! ūüėÄ

Yeah, sure.I get the meaning of the quote and that feeling.Guess, I will have just to repeat it once more.Well,where is my wand ?? Ta Da!!

Retrouvaille…

 

Amy had promised herself that she would meet May, only if she reaches out to her. It has been 16 long years since the day Amy had last met May, but there never was a day in Amy’s life that she had not been reminded of May and thinking what she could have done differently.

***

Luckily for Amy, today she is going to meet May, her daughter whom she had given up for adoption 16 years ago.The joy of meet her own daughter after such a long period of time was uncontainable!!

***

Quietus

 

That dawn,
among stars
I was,
someone’s angel
Under the blanket, 
of pure love
I drift to a,
beautiful slumber
Suddenly ,
I suffocate
I envisage,
I am
Inside the cocoon,
of my sadness 
And slowly,
 I die…
***

Psithurism…

I achingly longed for him,
For the silence was deafening
He, the one who plays the tunes
And to which, I lovingly sway
Sometimes gently,
Sometimes vigorously
Longer are his songs on some days
Just a while, on others
At times he brings his friends
Who makes me tingle and sparkle
Mesmerised in their music
I give away my brittle babies
Slowly he stops his song but I remain allure
Away he takes the bodies of my dead children
And fumingly I wait for his return
But then, with his approaching music
I forget my dead children
And I simply give way to his needs
For its a vicious circle
His tunes and my dance
Are inseparable
For as long as life exists
“The wind plays his¬†tunes
Along with his rain friends
A lone banyan tree sways
Shedding away her yellow brittle leaves…”
 

Orenda-True me…

“Orenda” has revealed to me at a time I am abysmally at the lowest point in my life.I have had many set backs in life and most of the time I try to make connections with those miseries and finally reach a point where I tell myself, I deserve it.Then I let it go, pick up my pieces and go on with life.

I think I have kind of even started to wait for these periodical miseries.It always ends with blaming myself and my stars for¬†the same.I refuse to take up any more challenges for the fear of doing something wrong.I have refused myself to be happy or to even laugh for the fear of making another episode of misery.I have refused myself to have the right to dream big and make it.I refused to take promotions thinking I won’t be a fit. I refused to take a day off thinking I might be noticed.I refused to talk openly with my family thinking(knowing) they will judge me.I keep playing various scenarios of misery and end up feeling miserable all throughout the day.

I don’t know if I will have the courage to stand for the things I believe I can do, replacing all the talks in my head, but¬†nonetheless knowing that it need not be always BE like that gives me hope to find the true me, by following the force inside of me.

 


Nepenthe…

“From the pricks of needles to bottles of alcohol to swirls of smokes, nothing could take the pain of missing you from me until a¬†day¬†when I noticed your smile in her’s, your laughter in her’s, your dimples in her’s, your anger in her’s and your memories in her eyes.”

Our daughter has become my nepenthe…

Monday Blues

april5

 

 

Since my girl was born I was so cautious to develop her individuality and herself.I really felt that she in no way must be compared to any of her peers or so.I used to make my point to everyone now.Now what struck me is the thought that, “Isn’t the same applicable for me as well ?

Still unable to get over it!!