Eye-fection

So this post is a personal rant :).You have been warned!!

Well, I have been affected by a worse eye infection.Already, I am perfectly matching the “soda-glass” description of glasses and now thrown in an eye infection.It’s like a match made in heaven, like Idly and Sambhar.It’s made my life difficult and my work, even more difficult.My eyes, rather my eye infection made me realise about the important role they are playing and how ungrateful I have been even to acknowledge its presence.It’s like that saying,”You got to lose something to understand its value”

Anyways, back to the rant, the most affected of my daily routine was “squeeze_in_pages_to_read” which in turn hit my monthly target of reading and reviewing four books.I had already chosen and even started reading the books, but then I had to “switch_off“.Yup, culprit “Kindle”

I too had switched to Kindle for the cheaper rates of books and also the ease of carrying around.Though I still love my books, its wonderful smell, the touch back from the pages, the dog-earing of pages, somehow Kindle scored better.It allowed me to mix and read with just one thing to hold.Now with a toddler running around or find the peace of mind in washrooms, I simply loved Kindle books.But now I know that the marathon reading from Kindle had aggravated my eye injury.So books, as well as Kindle had gone back to take their long deserved rest.

Once I had to forcibly let go of my monthly reading target, I became so very relived from an unknown tension from my chest.It gave me a permission to literally breathe!!.I never realised I was pushing myself so very hard to achieve something and suddenly I became so much relaxed when the thought that I have a valid reason not to read 4 books, popped up.Well, I myself was so astonished the way I reacted.I thought I loved books and while it is very much true, I realized I was putting myself into a forced punishement of reading.It also made me realize, I totally forgot to enjoy the book, I  was reading.I could not happily read back the pages, or allow myself to know the characters or surroundings.The fact is that, I never knew what I was turning into.

Yeah, it’s a sort of mindfulness, rather a lack of mindfulness.

I had so much of free time but with less pressure.I had this epiphany of “deeply” looking into other aspects of my life and my family.My eyes-injury made me realize I can have so many wonderful things in my life, if not just blinded by what I must absolutely have in life.Its sometimes worthier to let go of expectations and live just like that :).And that was also the reason for not being available on blogosphere!! Well, that’s the End of rant 🙂

 

Monday Blues!!

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I am one among that group of people[ I presume there are many many folks like me out there, cheers to you guys] who dream all about what they want and what they can become in like 3 years or 5 years or even 6 months,but totally forget/ignore/overestimate/underestimate what that needs to done “TODAY” to build the “FUTURE” dream 🙂

If we were having a cuppa of coffee…

If we were having a cold cuppa of coffee, I would love to tell you about my silence in the blog

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If we were having coffee, I would tell you that we celebrated birthdays every week and I was super busy organising them.First, on Feb 8 was my Dad’s birthday followed by Mom’s on Feb 10.Mine was on Feb 17 and my little girl’s on Feb 23.Now, I think you can understand my silence in the blogosphere!! 😀

For my dad’s and mom’s birthday we made a simple cake with no frosting as they are not fond of the same.For my birthday,my hubs got me a huge red velvet cake :D.I was floored!!For my little one’s birthday, we had 3 cakes, one for her to cut at school!!.She was all dolled up for the big day and I was so happy seeing her 😀

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If we were having coffee, I would tell you that though I  somehow managed to read my quota of 4 books for the month, I but could not write reviews about them.Yeah quite busy, you know.Amongst the lot, I enjoyed reading

If we were having coffee, I would also tell you that the summers have come quite early and cold coffees have taken the place of hot ones.

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Em and Big Hoom

Em and the Big HoomEm and the Big Hoom by Jerry Pinto

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

When you go to a home, you knock and wait for someone from the home to open the door and let you in.There is a certain premise to enter the home, make oneself comfortable and then have a chat.And when it’s finally time to part, you might or might not have understood the reality of that home or the family.But that was not the case with Em and Big Hoom.

When I started reading this book, I was literally put in the middle of the lives of Em, Big Hoom and their family. I felt warm and welcomed to their home.Not one time did I feel I was not a part of their family.I literally lived and breathed with them.

I felt the burning and suffocating smell of beedis in my eyes and nose.I understood the bits and pieces and was able to read in between the lines from Em’s talks.I felt ashamed at the same time intrigued at her adult talks.I felt the silent, yet the roaring presence of Big Hoom.I sensed the tender love between these folks.I could hear all the thoughts of em for endless hours.I also shivered when she tried to let go of her life.And I was part relieved and a part sad when she finally left.I knew I was somewhere becoming the shadow of the narrator, who has poured his hearts out!

Our mothers are very dear to us.She somehow has been bestowed with the power of holding all the members of the family.Now, it’s very scary situation if something happens to such a strong link.And even scarier if it related to being mentally disabled.Imelda, aka Em, is one such person, who slowly and at times looses the grip of reality.

‘After you were born, someone turned on a tap. At first it was only a drip, a black drip, and I felt it as sadness. I had felt sad before . . . who hasn’t ? I knew what it was like. But I didn’t know that it would come like that, for no reason. I lived with it for weeks.’

‘Was there a drain?’

‘No. There was no drain. There isn’t one even now’.

‘It is like oil. Like molasses, slow at first.Then one morning I woke up and it was flowing free and fast. I thought I would drown in it. I thought it would drown little you and Susan. I got up, got dressed and went out onto the road and tried to jump in front of a bus. I thought it would be a final thing, quick like a bang.  Only,it wasn’t.

I don’t know if there is any better way of defining depression.It’s akin to drowning in one’s sadness, though we don’t want to be drowned and we know how to stop oneself from being drowned but yet, yet simply could not help but sink down.That’s depression.

And how can one forget Augustine, the Big Hoom ?. When there are people who simply choose to stay out of trouble by avoiding ill people from their lives, here a man who stays and fights for a normal life.His love for Em, cannot be said in words.It can be known only from the heart.

“Love is never enough. Madness is enough. It is complete, sufficient unto itself.”

Such a brilliant portrayal of a dysfunctional(?) family amongst us describing the vivid emotions and the broken thoughts of a depressed, bipolar, suicidal mother but more importantly reading this book showed me the difficulties, that sort of numbness and the absence of normalcy in the lives of the caretakers of these mentally ill people.

I wonder if one day, I fall as hard as Em, will I be lucky enough to be surrounded by folks like Em’s family?

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If I were having coffee…

If we were having a warm cuppa of coffee, I would love to tell you how glad I am to return here and have a heartwarming chit chat !!

If we were having coffee, I would tell you that we celebrated my hubs birthday this month and it was super fun.I baked him a dates-carrot cake and finally did icing as well.Long overdue!! It was really horrible but it was also super fun.Hubs being a gym freak, I made him this.

If we were having coffee, I would also tell you that I watched a couple of good movies, was able to read 4 books and I enjoyed “Em and Big Hoom” thoroughly!! I would also tell you that I was able to post about my journey more consistently

If we were having coffee, I would love to tell you how excited and happy I was when my blog “That Day “ got featured in BlogChatter.It meant “something_big_and_unexplainable” to me.I would tell you that how now I truly understand the meaning of “grass being greener where you water”.Spending a definite amount of time every day in my blog-haven have definitely increased my happiness and fun quotient

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If we were having coffee, I would tell you about our impromptu trip to Rameswaram and Dhanushkodi on our anniversary day.We have celebrated our day drenched in rains, being mesmerised by the dilapidated beauty of Dhanuskodi.Clouds, sand, sea and a hot cuppa of tea….made my day! Though I don’t like PDA, ahem ahem especially in FB or any other social networks :P, I would still love to tell my hubs “R” that every day being with you makes me love me more and more.You made me believe I am worthy and so is my journey!!

If we were having coffee, I would tell you all about the rating and stuff from my work and what I was thinking about my future with this organisation.Meanwhile, I would also talk about how stunned I was hearing about this tragic news.I have no words to describe my anger towards the human being who simply destroyed the hopes of a young life.

If we were having coffee, I would simply love to show you this entertaining piece much better than the original movie Raees. I would go on and on about how crappy SRK movies have become.I am afraid he has lost his lucky charm!!.From being an ardent fan, now I find excuses to miss his movies.I hope he comes back with a bang!

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My Husband and Other Animals

My Husband and Other AnimalsMy Husband and Other Animals by Janaki Lenin

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

What made me reach for this book was the title,”My Husband and Other Animals”.Since I had never read any of Janaki’s columns in The Hindu, I didn’t know what the book would be about.While reading this book, a bunch of articles gave me a totally new experience.
We live either in a city or in a village or in a flat or a good old mansion.We make god friends and enemies with your neighbours, relatives, friends etc.But we never would have given a thought about the various “other” beings around us.Reading this book made me literally me sit up and think about the toads, cats, dogs, birds, worms, flies and even mosquitoes[the beings around me].It did make me wonder about their conversations :).

Ms.Janaki favourite and recurring topic in her articles is her husband, Mr.Romulus Whitaker-who is an herpetologist and founder of Madras Crocodile Bank. They together have been living in Madras Crocodile Bank, and later on moved to a farm house near Chengalpet.While reading through the experiences of the author I was quite envious about her adventures and most importantly the fun she had while on them.Be it “always finding a way back to home toads” or “cyclone crocs” or “trekking deep forests”, she has had a great run which we can only imagine.

Laughing and giggling to myself, I finished the book in no time.It was a quick and hearty read and I thoroughly enjoyed it.

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