A year of toddler school

Today is the last day of the first year in school, of my little girl.I am happy as well as sad about it.She was just 2 years old when we send decided to send her to nursery school.Though I never wanted to, circumstances of a working mother made me do it :|.I learned a lot about her as well as about me during this one year of her school.Like for instances, she already has a persona of her’s and she is totally different when @home and when @school.Even at this tender age, she clearly demands her needs and the numero uno of the same is “No school today”.Every other day is a chore, but once she reaches her school, she turns to this “happy child” running to be part of her class.

I am told she is quite naughty in her class and has trouble making friends.Though she likes her individual place, she also likes her activities in school.I was also so very happy to see her mingling with people other than us, her family.She loves to swing and slide and is an outdoor person.And she loves cars more than dolls.She loves to cycle and even learned to cycle from her school.And from today its the vacation time.Sigh!! what used to excite me in my younger days is kind of a dreaded affair in “N” ‘s case.

Ah!! the beautiful and treasured memories associated with the summer vacations…I wonder what would it be for “N”.But with time we too will have to let go of traditions and embrace new memories, in fact help “N” find or create her own memories for a life.I had always disliked summer classes what so ever but right now I have no other option other than to enroll her in some or other classes.And there are so many.I think it is quite difficult to select one of those, even more difficult than getting school admissions and in such exorbitant prices.It is moments like these that I despise working :|.

I believe[d] that I will take the fullest control of my kid’s life until she joins her school like 1st std or so.It’s like I will get to decide everything about her.I even didn’t want to work until she is like 6 or so.I always wanted to feed her, bathe her, select her clothes, play with her and let her be herself.This was my plan even I got into the labor room, but financial fate had other plans.It is quite depressing that I have never got to enjoy anything at all[a true state of many of my peers].The days when I have an off, I might do something that upsets her routines and she is irritated, which as a vicious circle irritates me.I realized, I was depressed.

Nowadays, I just take it one day at a time, help myself so that I can be with her, try to squeeze is more “us” time and move ahead.

Happy Holidays!!

My driving force..

when I feel all down and wrong about life, she makes faces in an attempt to make me laugh.

when I feel all happy and laughing, she makes me laugh even harder make me realize that I am not trying enough.

when I eat out of obligation at the office or as the courtesy to my friends without even being hungry, I remember how my girl refuses to eat until she is truly hungry.No wonder that she does not put on weight 🙂

when I feel sleepy and drowsy such that even the mere thinking of bed makes me sleep, she says “mama, one more round of drama and storytelling and singing please and there I realize, I can push so much further.

when I slowly tiptoe away from her bed so as to not wake her and takes out my mental to-do list, just when I am about to close the door I find her sitting up and all laughing,there I mentally erase all of my to do 😛

when I feel proud of myself in achieving a target at office,she makes me prouder when she tries to recite her rhymes and my targets look minuscule when compared to hers.

when I feel life has given me so many challenges, she sprang into my arms reminding me the times how she came back from the end of life

when I don’t find enough time to spend with her and feel all guilty,she waits for us at the doorstep and promptly run towards her father 😛

My little “N” has slowly and truly become the driving force of my life 🙂

Living my Imperfect Life

First Gift :)

Screen Shot 2016-08-05 at 1.43.48 pmA pair of “Tiny Shoes” were our first gift for our lil “N”.We were forbidden by our families to buy anything before our baby was born,but I could not resist myself from not buying this pair of cuties for my child.And I know, I will forever cherish the moments I spend staring at the booties and how I would gently make her wear them :).

Well,my girl completely and utterly refused to wear them for what so ever reason,only know to her! That made me realize,she would never need my fashion advice 😛

 

Day 5 of barathon

 

A Tale of Growth!!

“Growth”,a very special term in a parent’s dictionary, especially if they are new to nuisances of parenthood.I am one such parent who has the faintest idea about what to expect next in the life ?! Right from the day my girl was born, I always wanted to make sure she grows into a strong girl,immune to common diseases and always be active,to the extent that I become tired of answering her queries 🙂

I was happy that “N” used to have her food without much trouble.As long as she is full,she was happy and playing.Then the terrible-twos came by and my girl, “N” has become this stubborn lady who simply shouts “NO” to every kind of food we try to feed her with.I tried everything from rice-dal mixes to vegetable soups to fruit juices to milk to fish.I had exhausted every item in my list trying to feed her.Adding woes of being a working mother,I literally cried trying to make her eat anything at all.!! The lack of proper and nutritious food she became much more prone to common diseases like cold and fever which made our evening plans rather easier.Instead of going to a park to play,we started frequenting the medical clinics.And those medicines have made her appetite fly away into the clouds.

Sigh!

Not having any idea about what to do the next ,I on a whim bought Horlicks Growth +.I knew she would definitely say a big “NO” ,thus I gave a small spoonful of the same.You guessed it right,”N” spat it all out! Being a mother,your kid teaches you everything about being patient.I tried to give her a spoonful of the same next day.And after a couple of days, she came in and asked for a spoonful of “black Horlicks”,in her cute little voice when I forgot about the same.She finally liked it.Slowly I tried to mix it up with milk and was able to feed her the same somehow!![No words to explain the process here].Anyways,the trick worked.Mama happy,Baby happy.She even named it as “Black Horlicks”.Kids,I tell you!! Though I was apprehensive to give my girl anything which might sound artificial,I was more than happy that I could find something that can eventually make a way to her tummy and supplement her with the lost nutrients.I have seen that my girl has visibly become less tired and irritated.She now gets enthusiastically involved in various activities at her playschool.She learns,understands and try out new things at home as well.She also sleeps well and grown back to my old happy child 🙂

I already knew that steady and proper growth at the right time is a very crucial to the overall development of a child.A good plate of healthy and nutritious food in the early days of childhood helps kids grow into the later stage of life without any major lifestyle / health issues.But the most overwhelming task is in making kids eat the nutritious food which aid in their growth.The least we can do is to provide supplements as in the form of health drinks to the kids who refuse to eat a morsel of food in any other way.

And Horlicks Growth + is very much recommended product,right from my experience!

A Lifetime Memory

It been just 2 years, but you, my little daughter…you have given me a lifetime of memories already.Right from the day when showed up as two small lines in the pregnancy test results till yesterday, I have collected and stored every single moment with you.I still vividly remember this poem, which I had written about you while being pregnant,

My Angel

Overwhelmed with joy
My eyes brim with tears
When I saw my little angel

My hands tremble with fear
On touching her tender face
For  I was afraid
My roughness would hurt her

Getting her to my arms
Was a true divine moment
It was nowhere similar
To what I had always imagined

Holding her in arms
A longing dream of mine
Truly a bundle of joy
That  I had in my arms

Cute eyes and small nose
Rose lips and Soft toes
Nowhere she resembled me
As her father said…

Suddenly she twists,
Raising her closed pink fist
As though in protest
For disturbing her sleep

Rocking her back to sleep
I watched my lovely gift
And I realize that,
My life has changed forever

And, turns out you were exactly the same :).

My life changed the moment I held you in my arms.I still remember my heavy screaming during my delivery, but that was nothing close to emotional the first moment I first saw you.You, a tiny pink creature who refused to wail.I was so worried that you were not crying.Maternity Instincts :P.Though, you had already started looking at everyone trying to understand your new world.You were curious and happy.Your smile, your cries, your giggly laughs.Suddenly my world had become more colourful.

Your pink fists and your tiny feet.I simply loved to hold them forever.I still remember how much I turned motherly, even before I knew when you came into my life.I sensed danger everywhere and restricted you in many ways later realising how much a fool was I.

I don’t think that I can ever forget those trips for vaccinations.Your tiny screams and the painful nights, made me regret letting you take those injections.And how can I forget the days when you were shivering with fever.I would never have prayed so hard before.

Then the day came when I had to cut short my maternity leave to join office back.I trembled and cried, not knowing how I will survive without you.I simply ran to see you for every opportunity I have had(made).

Your first tooth to the day when you sat on your own.Your first incomprehensible word to the day you called me “amma”.Your first kiss for me to the day you danced with me.Your first song, your first tantrum, your dance in diapers, you mimicking me, you trying to converse in sentences, you being jealous when I talk to other babies.I have every single one of them in stored perfectly in my memory.

”N” you have made me the weakest and also the strongest.You made me realise that life can never be taken for granted.To almost losing you last year until now, you have showed me that grit is what it takes to swim against the waves at times of despair.

Thank you for all those wonderful memories you have given me and to many more that has to come!.Thanks for being my girl, my daughter.
To view my memories,click the link below:
https://memories.hdfclife.com/message/UEtmAUAYuQaqmc4NYpLbUg==

“Share your #MemoriesForLife like I’ve done at BlogAdda for HDFC Life.”

 

 

My Angel

Overwhelmed with joy
My eyes brim with tears
When I saw my little angel

My hands tremble with fear
On touching her tender face
For i was afraid
My roughness would hurt her

Getting her to my arms
Was a true divine moment
It is no where similar
To what i had always imagined

Holding her in arms
A longing dream of mine
Truly a bundle of joy
That i had in my arms

Cute eyes and small nose
Rose lips and Soft toes
No where she resembled me
As her father said…

Suddenly she twists,
Raising her closed pink fist
As though in protest
For disturbing her sleep

Rocking her back to sleep
I watched my lovely gift
And I realize that,
My life has changed forever

 

Note : This was written even before I had my baby girl :D,I knew I would definitely have a girl,just like me 🙂

You…

You, 

     A revelation of my love

Simple thoughts of you 

         Brings out ecstasy in me

I am in love with you,

         And your velvet touch

I am already in heaven

         Bestowed by your kisses

I live now with this purpose

         For being there for you 

 

I know, seasons never come

        Before they ought to !!

Impatiently, I wait for that day

         Until you dawn upon me

Not so far, I can feel,

       This bittersweet wait

Awakened by this,

         beautiful dream 

I sense the tingle

         Of holding your finger

From far across

         Beyond the worldly barriers

 

I realize, I am you !!

Note : I had written this while counting days to my D-date to see my lil girl ‘N’ :).Its been 2 years,but still remains so fresh in my memory.