From a Fan…

It was 1996, May or June. We had just shifted to a new home. Those days, we had no TV, heck we didn’t even have an electricity connection for few months. It was one such Saturday evening when I first heard the song “Mehandi legate rekhna..” from the neighbour’s TV. I think it was the famous countdown show of DD2, Ek Se Badhkar Ek (?). In and out just like that but I kept humming the tune for many years to come. Of course, I didn’t know that the song was from the iconic movie of our times and the actor was soon to be my favourite!

SRK.

Growing up in a strict and conservative household meant movies were off limit, especially Hindi movies. I was allowed to watch just two programs that aired Hindi songs, Rangoli on Sunday mornings and Chitrahaar on Wednesdays evenings. I still remember how I used to pray hard for just one song of SRK and when that happens, I noted down everything, the song, its lyrics, the backgrounds, the other actors, the clothes and of course cute SRK. Those days he was very cute, especially in the song from Chamtkar, which was aired repeatedly!!

 

 

 

 

Most weeks, the wait would be futile. I and my friends would discuss in anger and frustrations. It seems crazy, now that I think of those days, yet I can relive those moments again and again.

The thrill to sneak out to our living room just to watch the Hindi movies that aired in DD on Friday and Saturday nights is giving me goosebumps :).So as to not wake my parents, I used to watch the movie with no light and sound. It was hard, but then I didn’t want to miss the chance to watch SRK !! Baazigar was the first movie I watched of SRK and boy I was flabbergasted, like with everyone else. I too fell for the “Baazigar”, even though he killed a lot of people(?).

 

 

Why? The answer still eludes me.

Since then I was hooked. I devoured all the movies that aired on TV. I would become sad if his character dies, use to ponder how could he be saved leading to an alternative storyline. I was enthralled when he cracked jokes, made faces, sang songs, said those filmy dialogues. I loved the way he looked onscreen when he acted as if he was telling stories directly to us :D. I loved his voice, voice modulations, teary eyes, his dimpled smile and so on and so forth!!. Growing up, he and his movies defined my childhood and teenage!!

From Kabhi haa Kabhi naa

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to Kuch Kuch Hota Hai

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Add a lot of raging hormones plus the excitements on breaking restrictions and a lot of enthusiasm and love to understand the phenomenon of my love for him 🙂

As with now, we didn’t have internet, heck we didn’t know when his movies released or how well it did. The only source of knowing anything about him was the priced Filmfare magazines which I used to devour when I visited my most hi-fi cousins during vacations. It was long but worthwhile wait!! I used to beg, borrow steal pictures from these and made a huge book of SRK. I know,  Finding and collecting his pictures from magazines or newspapers used to be the most important activity of my childhood. And the barter system of exchanging pictures with friends :D, but SRK was in high demand,even those times :).

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Ah, the good old times :).

When we bought a cassette player with stereos, a big deal back then, for the first time, my tyrant father bought me Dil Se cassette and my mom bought me Dil to Pagal Hai cassette. And those were treasured moments which I still have. Those had these amazing pictures of SRK,which I used to stare at :D. We all used to be in awe, seeing SRK dance on top of the train. My four-year-old daughter also has the same awe which I am absolutely happy about 😉

 

And it was much later when I got my own job and had a chance to stay away from my home, I got to watch his movie in a theatre, “My Name is Khan”.I was mesmerised by seeing him onscreen. The usual SRK was not seen at all. His eyes were so very different. “Tere naina…kept ringing in my head.I clearly remember once the movie got over, I was unable to speak or even move. I wonder what would become of me when I meet him. To be able to watch “DDLJ” in Maratha Mandir “DDLJ” in Maratha Mandir is one of my biggest dreams!! I wish it still keeps running.

 

So, why do people including me are crazy about SRK. Well, even I don’t think of him as exceptionally handsome or even talented. Yet, we all love him. I think it’s because we believe him and know him like an open book especially when the rest of the stars were distant. We know his love life, his struggle, his ambitions, his wishes almost everything about him. We think we know all about him and yet he is still able to maintain who he is amidst everything!! He is a great actor, a versatile one,  a humble one, respects everyone, treats everyone equally, is a great lover of sports, tech, and a big patriot, a good father, a great better half, a good orator, a sensible and a sensitive person! I can keep adding more adjectives 😉

Right now I am in such a stage where I enjoy his deep and thought-provoking talks along with his masala movies.

 

 

 

 

 

OR

 

 

 

 

 

 

And the recent TED Talks,

 

 

 

tells you how good orator he is. His style of quick and witty responses, makes you wonder. His huge collection of books is another main attraction ;).And when he quotes them, I die of joy!!. To others, he seems arrogant, selfish and too much nonsense, for instance, someone like my husband. But there is a quintessential charm that he leaves on every person, be it his fan or not.

Today there are a lot of venues available to get instant fame or responses, but back then the wait to see you sir, has been the most bittersweet ones.Well, as a fan of yours, I don’t want any 300 cr movies or record-breaking ones. I just want him to keep doing movies which you love and enjoy, just to take care of yourself and keep us happy with your witty one-liners in Twitter or with hot after bath pictures in Instagram :D.

Its been 22 years, and never another person has touched my life like you, Mr Superstar. :D. Once your fan always your fan.Here’s to wishing my biggest superstar  a “Happy Birthday”

A Fangirl!!

Tell me!

Disguised in the thoughtfulness,
I wake up to shameful taunts

Disguised in the forgetfulness,
I feel invalidated

Disguised in the sweet words for the ​world,
I see the burning hatred in eyes

Disguised in the disgust for me,
I hear the smirks and smiles

Disguised in finding me a new home,
I feel the tightening of the ​grip

Disguised in the busyness,
I find my dreams crushed and levelled

Disguised in the love,
I touch the height of hypocrisy​

Disguised in the helplessness​,
I share my tearful stains on pillows

Tell me, How do I love again?

Struggle

“Taunts, pleas and forcful pushes!

Anger,she breaks into and then guilt…

Her life, a constant vicious circle”

 

“Yellow”

“What’s your name ?”.There comes the first question to my toddler as soon as she encounters our neighboring aunties.

“Such a lovely name.Who gave you the name ? Mama or Pappa”. – Next question comes faster than bullets and sometimes even without acknowledging my child’s answer.

Tell me whats your mama’s name ? where does she work?” – Okay, now my child looks at me with the deep stare as if  “are-u-going-to-save-me ?”.

Before even I could help her with the answer, the neighbors and well wishers tell me that my child has some kind of delay as compared to the child next door who is also of the same age but much smarter.I was awestruck at how quick their thinking is and also about their conclusions.

Yet, without any sign of stopping, they continue with the questions and this time it was on colors.My neighbour aunty pointing to her hair asked N,

“Tell me what is this.What is its color ?” – My girl replied that it’s black!

She then pointed to her teeth and asked, “Tell me what is this color ?”. My girl promptly replied “Yellow” and went back playing.

I couldn’t hold my laughter and my neighbor was turning beet red with embarrassment.And she never bothered to ask another question to my child ever 🙂

 

 

How I became a Tree – Book Review

How I Became a Tree

 

It’s been some time since I read a book and I am glad I choose this gem by Sumana Roy.I have been nodding at various passages in sync with the author and at times I was marveled at the way she was able to draw a parallelism between being a human and being a tree.
Trees have always fascinated me.Their long trunks as a testimony to their strength, their deep roots, their ever hugging nature by the branches.Sumana was able to put words into my thoughts that had always marveled me.
This is a book I will always remember reading. 🙂

 

A Cup of Tea…

“Everyone..it’s raining heavily and it’s so very cold.And I think it’s the best time for sipping a hot cup of coffee ??”.

One of my best friend sighed excitedly and asked me to join her for coffee.

“Coffee…???Well..No, We all shall go for Tea!!” ,I said as always I do.

So here I am sipping my hot tea relishing my memories given by the umpteen number of cups of tea I have had till now…

 

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Chai was always available at my home at any time. My mother always used to prepare an extra cup whenever she makes tea at home and stores it in the flask for she always knew some one would ask for more.

At home, a cup of tea is the very first thing everyone have as soon as they wake up. Its like a warming up exercise for the body and mind.
My father, he has his first cup of tea going through the morning news paper.
Whereas my mother gulps down a couple of cups tea in between the time she spends making the lunch and breakfast for us. I truly believe it is from these cups of teas that derives her the super strength to be so active until she sends my father to office and me and my brother to school and then to clear the mess we leave behind 🙂

Well, I too wanted to have tea. I used to ask my mother to give me tea, but she always refused gave me only a glass of milk.
Yuck!! I never liked milk and I always wanted to have tea.I never knew till then that milk is such an integral part of tea.

The evening comes with this unsaid ritual at my home. As soon as my father comes from office, my mother would be ready with his cup of tea, along with a beautiful smile.
As I watch him drink his cup of tea, I realize its an art. He used to smell the tea for a while, wait for it to be a little cold, even though he wants the tea as hot as possible when he gets it and then sip it little by little.
He takes almost ten to fifteen minutes to finish the tea.The cup of tea does gives its magic.My father becomes energized and happy.My mother, she becomes so delighted to see my father having his tea and releasing all his tensions.Even if it were holidays, everyday at the same time my mother made him a cup of hot tea and watch him drink it.

When ever any guests come to our home, my mother always served them with tea, no matter what time it is.I have also seen this tradition at every other home I have visited.Its always chai with biscuits or chai with other delicious sweets. Chai was always there no matter there were snacks or not !!..:)

And sometimes A cup of chai acts as a remedy for a strong head ache, “Here, Have a cup of hot tea, You will feel a lot better” is a common sentence spoken in any Indian household.

The more I think about “A cup of tea”, I realize how this cups of teas has been a part and parcel of our lives till now, even us acknowledging it or not.

Gradually as time went by, I too started preparing my own Tea. I also prepared tea for my family only after a couple of initial disasters.
My mother, even though was so worried about my disasters, felt really happy that I learned to make a cup of tea. May be she would have thought that at times she could ask me to her make one.
And my father was also truly happy..he said that it was the tastiest cup of tea he had ever had. And I was very proud of myself.Ha, fathers you know.
In my class, no one had yet started to light a stove, let alone prepare tea. Some of my friends didn’t believe me when I told them I have prepared tea all by myself.They decided to drop by my house to have my tea, it turned out so well and my friends praised me for the same.A cup tea can indeed do wonders..

Once again cups of tea came for my rescue during the board exams. I still remember those nights of study leave when I ask my mother to make me flasks full of tea so that I don’t sleep. Most of the times it happens that, I drink the tea and sleep peacefully at night.
My mother seeing that whole flask empty believed that I was studying all night. But I should say a lot of cups of tea did rescue me on the night just previous to exams, it was always the D-day for studying.

I missed a cup of hot piping tea the most was when I had to stay in hostel for my higher studies.
Just outside our college gate was this makeshift Tea shop!!.I always wanted to get a cup of tea from that place, but I could never as the place was always crowded with boys and gentle men of that locality, though this did not hold me back from sniffing up the beautiful aroma of the tea made.It was so good!!.that I used to wonder about the taste of the tea.

Everyone along with me in our hostel yearned for a good tea, but the hostel mess provided us with “water tea”.It had more water; milk was just for namesake. Sometimes they used milk powder instead of milk which sort of changed the taste of tea.
The “smell” of tea itself was disgusting, but still we all used to have the “water tea”. It gave us the energy to keep on chattering and gossiping about boys, teachers, love birds, labs etc.
The only remains of those days are the memories and the hundreds of cups of “water tea” we all had together.

Even without cups of tea for night shifts I was able to complete the studies and join the IT industry along with thousands of others.

With a  job in IT comes “the cup of coffee”. It made me even forgot how a cup of tea used to taste. A lot was happening over lot of cups of coffees 😉
I even stopped taking tea from home. Every evening along with my father’s tea, my mother gave me coffee. But later on, I guess a lot of coffee made me hate the Coffee all together. I again wanted to have a cup of tea.I realized, tea was something special.

The came the day like in every other girls life, when I will judged by the cups of teas I served.I was shaking while serving tea to my future in laws and husband. But then the cup of tea prepared very specially by my mother, did make some magic :).I am just exaggerating my experiences. But, I did feel that the cups of tea plays an important role in defining the future of the marriage.!!

In these hectic days, all I need is a cup of tea which readily suck in all my tiredness. Now, I am the one who serves my husband with a cup of hot tea and I am so delighted to see him relish his tea.
I feel some emotions which might be the same as my mother would have felt.Thus making me realize that I have completed a major cycle in my life with lots of cups of tea 🙂

Hmm…A cup of hot piping tea…in a rainy day…nothing more…nothing less..!!

 

Linking with Friday Reflections : Tea or coffee? Pick your vice

Tarantism

 

“Thunderous rain plays music in ears

The heart beats with the raining droplets

Swaying myself drenching my soul “