From a Fan…

It was 1996, May or June. We had just shifted to a new home. Those days, we had no TV, heck we didn’t even have an electricity connection for few months. It was one such Saturday evening when I first heard the song “Mehandi legate rekhna..” from the neighbour’s TV. I think it was the famous countdown show of DD2, Ek Se Badhkar Ek (?). In and out just like that but I kept humming the tune for many years to come. Of course, I didn’t know that the song was from the iconic movie of our times and the actor was soon to be my favourite!

SRK.

Growing up in a strict and conservative household meant movies were off limit, especially Hindi movies. I was allowed to watch just two programs that aired Hindi songs, Rangoli on Sunday mornings and Chitrahaar on Wednesdays evenings. I still remember how I used to pray hard for just one song of SRK and when that happens, I noted down everything, the song, its lyrics, the backgrounds, the other actors, the clothes and of course cute SRK. Those days he was very cute, especially in the song from Chamtkar, which was aired repeatedly!!

 

 

 

 

Most weeks, the wait would be futile. I and my friends would discuss in anger and frustrations. It seems crazy, now that I think of those days, yet I can relive those moments again and again.

The thrill to sneak out to our living room just to watch the Hindi movies that aired in DD on Friday and Saturday nights is giving me goosebumps :).So as to not wake my parents, I used to watch the movie with no light and sound. It was hard, but then I didn’t want to miss the chance to watch SRK !! Baazigar was the first movie I watched of SRK and boy I was flabbergasted, like with everyone else. I too fell for the “Baazigar”, even though he killed a lot of people(?).

 

 

Why? The answer still eludes me.

Since then I was hooked. I devoured all the movies that aired on TV. I would become sad if his character dies, use to ponder how could he be saved leading to an alternative storyline. I was enthralled when he cracked jokes, made faces, sang songs, said those filmy dialogues. I loved the way he looked onscreen when he acted as if he was telling stories directly to us :D. I loved his voice, voice modulations, teary eyes, his dimpled smile and so on and so forth!!. Growing up, he and his movies defined my childhood and teenage!!

From Kabhi haa Kabhi naa

to Kuch Kuch Hota Hai

 

Add a lot of raging hormones plus the excitements on breaking restrictions and a lot of enthusiasm and love to understand the phenomenon of my love for him 🙂

As with now, we didn’t have internet, heck we didn’t know when his movies released or how well it did. The only source of knowing anything about him was the priced Filmfare magazines which I used to devour when I visited my most hi-fi cousins during vacations. It was long but worthwhile wait!! I used to beg, borrow steal pictures from these and made a huge book of SRK. I know,  Finding and collecting his pictures from magazines or newspapers used to be the most important activity of my childhood. And the barter system of exchanging pictures with friends :D, but SRK was in high demand,even those times :).

Ah, the good old times :).

When we bought a cassette player with stereos, a big deal back then, for the first time, my tyrant father bought me Dil Se cassette and my mom bought me Dil to Pagal Hai cassette. And those were treasured moments which I still have. Those had these amazing pictures of SRK,which I used to stare at :D. We all used to be in awe, seeing SRK dance on top of the train. My four-year-old daughter also has the same awe which I am absolutely happy about 😉

 

And it was much later when I got my own job and had a chance to stay away from my home, I got to watch his movie in a theatre, “My Name is Khan”.I was mesmerised by seeing him onscreen. The usual SRK was not seen at all. His eyes were so very different. “Tere naina…kept ringing in my head.I clearly remember once the movie got over, I was unable to speak or even move. I wonder what would become of me when I meet him. To be able to watch “DDLJ” in Maratha Mandir “DDLJ” in Maratha Mandir is one of my biggest dreams!! I wish it still keeps running.

 

So, why do people including me are crazy about SRK. Well, even I don’t think of him as exceptionally handsome or even talented. Yet, we all love him. I think it’s because we believe him and know him like an open book especially when the rest of the stars were distant. We know his love life, his struggle, his ambitions, his wishes almost everything about him. We think we know all about him and yet he is still able to maintain who he is amidst everything!! He is a great actor, a versatile one,  a humble one, respects everyone, treats everyone equally, is a great lover of sports, tech, and a big patriot, a good father, a great better half, a good orator, a sensible and a sensitive person! I can keep adding more adjectives 😉

Right now I am in such a stage where I enjoy his deep and thought-provoking talks along with his masala movies.

 

 

 

 

 

OR

 

 

 

 

 

 

And the recent TED Talks,

 

 

 

tells you how good orator he is. His style of quick and witty responses, makes you wonder. His huge collection of books is another main attraction ;).And when he quotes them, I die of joy!!. To others, he seems arrogant, selfish and too much nonsense, for instance, someone like my husband. But there is a quintessential charm that he leaves on every person, be it his fan or not.

Today there are a lot of venues available to get instant fame or responses, but back then the wait to see you sir, has been the most bittersweet ones.Well, as a fan of yours, I don’t want any 300 cr movies or record-breaking ones. I just want him to keep doing movies which you love and enjoy, just to take care of yourself and keep us happy with your witty one-liners in Twitter or with hot after bath pictures in Instagram :D.

Its been 22 years, and never another person has touched my life like you, Mr Superstar. :D. Once your fan always your fan.Here’s to wishing my biggest superstar  a “Happy Birthday”

A Fangirl!!

Being Lucky!!

Whenever I have heard the word “lucky”, instantly a couple of faces come rushing into my memory.Faces from pictures of social media or some vague memory from in between talks with friends like who tell me,”Did you hear so and so got married to the love of her life and now happily settled at some foreign location”?.Like a filmy dream. Some of my friends who were “lucky” enough to climb corporate ladders and visit onsite and settle down there while some of the faces were lucky enough to pursue an education or their

Some of the faces who I considered to be “lucky” were those who climbed very high up the corporate ladders while some were lucky enough to be able to pursue an education of their choice or even their hobby and build a wonderful career out of it while some of the faces reminded me about those who get time to spend at home with their kids and family.And when the urge of comparison begins, I slowly fall into the category of branding myself as being “unlucky“.

I must admit that this branding episode happened every time I visited FB or Instagram and did affect me a lot.I even feel into a cyclic depression by comparing myself to all others.Then one light bulb moment occurred to me on what I failed to notice.It was that every one of these lucky faces I see had sacrificed something or the other to be where they are now.It made me realise that if you closely think, any luck can be simply be attributed to the sheer hard work and persistence one puts up to achieve a dream.”Ahh haa…at that point of thought, I realise my folly and that I am unlucky not because my work was not good but because my work was weak in comparison to someone else’s.”This gave me the push to revisit my goals for my life and plans to achieve them.Mind you, this did not occur just in about a few days.I had struggled a lot with negativity in my life before I had my moment of realisation.

And in retrospective, I looked for reasons why I am lucky? I didn’t need to dig deep and was amazed by what I found and these are the true reasons, that mattered to me more than anything.

I consider myself to be lucky,

“Because I am alive at this moment.I am able to breathe freely.I have not ailments whatsoever.”

“Because I have something to eat and something to even throw away, some place warm to sleep, clean water to drink.”

“Because I am a citizen of a free country, where I could wear anything I want, where I have my freedom of speech, where I have never experienced any violence or war.”

“Because I can write, read and express my thoughts.I am able to pursue quality education and even now still keep on learning.”

“Because I can work, get paid for my work and live a happy life with my family.”

“Because at the end of the day I can go back to my home to my parents, my brother, my husband and my baby girl.”

“And above all I consider myself to be lucky because I was born.Now just think about it out of all the possible permutations and combinations of sperms and eggs, I was the only one outcome, I was the chosen one to be able to live a life in this pale blue dot of a planet.”

If being the only chosen one does not count as being lucky, I don’t know what else is!! And with this great power comes great responsibility, which I believe is to “live this one life as if nothing else matters”

Linking it with prompt for Friday Reflections “Lucky”

 

 

The Life!

Once upon a time there lived a little girl,happily talking to herself,playing with colors,doing things that made her happy.As time flew by,she went to school that supposedly help her pave a way in this world.In order to stay at the top of the race amongst her friends,she was molded into someone else.The essence of “her” started mixing up with what she must become as sought by the world lead to new definitions ,dreams and desires in her life about what she would become in “future”,those places she will travel “alone”,how life would sprout beyond the daily scenes.

And then came the rebel days.Then the remorse days.Then the whining and cribbing days.Then the depressional days.Every single event made a deep impression upon her life,molding and modifying her thoughts about her life, society and family.The thoughts and dreams she had about life remained that way.She became so hard to even think about a possibility of life beyond her routines.The world around her changed,miles ahead but she is stuck,some place reminding herself of what she could have been,what she could have done to change the world.She has grown into a beautiful lady,fulfilling desires of her family,working as society expected,but inside,she is hurt,fearful,bolted up with emotions.She knows this way of life is not what she wanted,but still she is powerless!!

No,I never thought I will be doing what I am doing right now.Not even in my wildest dreams,coz I never really knew what I wanted to do with my life.I am just a follower,following those who walked before me,following some age-old instructions,following into some unknown outcomes of life.Never once did I knew or realize that I can move a muscle to make a change and figure out what I want in my life,with my life.Only today did I realize the true meaning of this quote ““Someone once told me the definition of Hell: The last day you have on earth, the person you became will meet the person you could have become.” Anonymous .And that is because of I feel a twitch in my heart or a knot in my stomach which constantly reminds me that something is not right,that I am living a life handcrafted for someone else!!

In response to the prompt from #FridayReflections  – “Did you think you’d be doing what you’re currently doing in life? Write a personal essay.” 

Book Review : The Story of A Suicide

The Story of a Suicide indeed illustrates the circumstances of how an individual decides why he no longer wants to live in this beautiful world.I am totally against suicide,yes even in cases where a person has no longer a life,we proclaim fit to proceed.I believe we are one of a kind and the mere fact that we are alive and thinking,must help us overcome the thoughts of being dead.I feel that half the courage one has in oneself  to be able to choose death willingly is more than enough for him to face the world and live a life ahead.

And the real reason,I believe that one becomes forced to choose death over life is the weight of the burden of expectations that hangs as dagger above us.Only if we are able to break free the expectations set upon us,will we be able to rise and make a mark.If we are born poor,our society deems us unfit to be a part of it and taunt us.Even if get the right education,if our social status is different that their “superior” ones we get insulted.It’s a truth that this sort of expectation kills,especially in our social set up.The ranks,marks,relationships, everything matters to parents.Their entire future is closely aligned to their children’s.So if the child deviates a little bit from their path of dreams aka expectations and if there is an emotional background to it,it’s better to be dead that be alive and being taunted for their rest of lives.

Being said that this web-novel narrates the story of four people Hari,Charu,Sam and Mani and how fate had intervened in their actions that each one becomes a responsibility to the death of the protagonist,Hari.It was a final destination of how the entire chapters were set up for the final showdown.The characters are well thought of and important taboo topics of child sex abuse, homosexuality, love, betrayal, expectations, cyber crime, sex, passion are well described,connected and illustrated.

The crux of the story,I felt was the failure of expectations.Sam believes Charu is in love with him and when he finds out it never was the way he had expected,he sets out for revenge.He sets up Charu and stalks her,that she decides to catch hold of him while in the act. A twist in the tale makes the trap set up for Charu ends with the life of Hari.Hari is forced to take the decision of death,due to the burden of expectations his parents,his social status and the expectations he had in his partner.He expects to find solace in his partner,Mani but Mani’s actions had his relive his most traumatized part of a life of his robbed childhood.And Mani,he expects Hari to understand his acts as his love,but Hari could not tolerate the same.

We need to be aware that times are changing so fast that our outlook towards life also needs to be changed.The social status or facebook status is no longer important but the life status, on finding what you are meant to give this world and how you can do it must be one’s aim.Parents should help and guide children to find their passion and support them for what they need to win their life.No matter what  circumstances are parents must spend time with their children,make them feel comfortable in sharing their thoughts and struggles.

Child sex abuse is very prevalent in any society and we all need to stand up against it.Status shows that mostly it is our family members whom we think we can trust, takes the chance to exploit the innocent kids.We must never turn away from what a child has to say and we must always support and help our child,cause these scars run deep and in turn changes their personality.By staying with them,helping them heal we can also forgive oneself.There are more ways of healing than ever before and I urge everyone to make use of it,rather than staying within themselves and being afraid of taboos.The website itself tells us more ways on how can one find a way out,it just a matter of reaching out.

Maybe I am too old for today’s youngster’s modus of Operandi in achieving instant likes,twitter shaming ,being bold by stating tales of vagina and penises.This novel also told me how I must help my child to channelize his talent to the welfare of another person.I as a parent must know that I can help my child build his world without comparisons,without hate but with compassion and love.It made me realize how the entire thing is relevant only in my head and not anywhere else!!

One of my quickest,deepest read of this year,this web-novel shows that we can easily mess up with a life.It is very easy to go into depression and thoughts of being insignificant emergences.It is a brutal truth of society we live in today.The tale ends with a death,not the sugar coated , the happy ending which we normally crave.The highlight of the web-novel is the illustrations.They were commendable and very apt to the chapters.It felt like Namboodiri’s drawings. 🙂

Note : The entire team of The Story of Suicide,deserves a round of applause as I have never seen such a kind of amalgamation of gems in setting up of a story.Usually, when I read a book,I glance through the Thank you page and the names go into oblivion,but not in this case.Kudos to each one of you.

 

A Dream Vacation

What could be more exciting than being a carefree traveller who has access and means to travel all across the world,experience different cultures,cuisines and wonderful people.The mere mention of “travel” fills up my memory with days of summer vacations at my mom’s place.That was the first of my travel adventures.Our home,chilly old town deep inside a forest is very near to Munnar.

Though the charisma of mountains,forests and rivers are fading out,still the nostalgia holds it together as a grant picture.Travelling to my hometown means a lot of things.

Our home is surrounded by mountains on all sides.We have a small creek flowing through our land and reaches a river.Early mornings are mysteriously beautiful!We can actually wait to see the mist clearing and the mountains dawn before us while the sun rises!! And I wonder how many places can offer us such a sunrise in this world.Everywhere in this world,the sunrise is one majestic piece of Art,and the mere sight is itself fill us with a sense of belonging.I have felt this when I saw the sunrise at Kanyakumari or at Kanjenjunka :).

Nothing beats the taste of the authentic flavours of my grandmom.Even if it is a simple pickle,her hand does the magic that not even my amma can replicate.When I was pregnant with my daughter I craved for her food,that’s my Grandmom’s magic food.I believe while we travel we must try out variety of food which is locally available.This really helps us understand the authentic taste of the food of that place.I feel,the authenticity loses its shine if prepared outside that particular area.When I was in Chennai,the small idlis in a bucket load of sambhar with a whole spoon of ghee…Yum…Sadly,nothing I did at home,could replicate the original taste.So there,food also adds to the experience of travelling.

Being so near to Thekaddy Wildlife Sanctuary and Munnar,our place amidst the forest does have visits from wildlife.I have been in awe seeing the variety of monkeys,wild snakes,wild pigs,endangered species of ant eaters near by our home.And I have learned a lot from these encounters and it has also helped in gaining knowledge about the flora and fauna of my area.I still rememeber,how this had helped me with my science projects.This also reminds me about the fishes and corals I saw when I had gone snorkelling at the Andaman Islands.

We can all be tourists,but a few can be travelers who can actually get deep into the culture,learn them,understand them,be a part of them.It takes time,patience and caliber to be a traveller.These people have profound effects of travelling in their life.They are the ones who wonder,what the next destination has to offer them ?  They are travellers of lifetime 🙂

I am blogging about my dreams and passions for the Club Mahindra#DreamTrails activity at BlogAdda. You can get a Club Mahindra Membership to own your holidays!

Thanks Google for the lovely pics 🙂