Being Lucky!!

Whenever I have heard the word “lucky”, instantly a couple of faces come rushing into my memory.Faces from pictures of social media or some vague memory from in between talks with friends like who tell me,”Did you hear so and so got married to the love of her life and now happily settled at some foreign location”?.Like a filmy dream. Some of my friends who were “lucky” enough to climb corporate ladders and visit onsite and settle down there while some of the faces were lucky enough to pursue an education or their

Some of the faces who I considered to be “lucky” were those who climbed very high up the corporate ladders while some were lucky enough to be able to pursue an education of their choice or even their hobby and build a wonderful career out of it while some of the faces reminded me about those who get time to spend at home with their kids and family.And when the urge of comparison begins, I slowly fall into the category of branding myself as being “unlucky“.

I must admit that this branding episode happened every time I visited FB or Instagram and did affect me a lot.I even feel into a cyclic depression by comparing myself to all others.Then one light bulb moment occurred to me on what I failed to notice.It was that every one of these lucky faces I see had sacrificed something or the other to be where they are now.It made me realise that if you closely think, any luck can be simply be attributed to the sheer hard work and persistence one puts up to achieve a dream.”Ahh haa…at that point of thought, I realise my folly and that I am unlucky not because my work was not good but because my work was weak in comparison to someone else’s.”This gave me the push to revisit my goals for my life and plans to achieve them.Mind you, this did not occur just in about a few days.I had struggled a lot with negativity in my life before I had my moment of realisation.

And in retrospective, I looked for reasons why I am lucky? I didn’t need to dig deep and was amazed by what I found and these are the true reasons, that mattered to me more than anything.

I consider myself to be lucky,

“Because I am alive at this moment.I am able to breathe freely.I have not ailments whatsoever.”

“Because I have something to eat and something to even throw away, some place warm to sleep, clean water to drink.”

“Because I am a citizen of a free country, where I could wear anything I want, where I have my freedom of speech, where I have never experienced any violence or war.”

“Because I can write, read and express my thoughts.I am able to pursue quality education and even now still keep on learning.”

“Because I can work, get paid for my work and live a happy life with my family.”

“Because at the end of the day I can go back to my home to my parents, my brother, my husband and my baby girl.”

“And above all I consider myself to be lucky because I was born.Now just think about it out of all the possible permutations and combinations of sperms and eggs, I was the only one outcome, I was the chosen one to be able to live a life in this pale blue dot of a planet.”

If being the only chosen one does not count as being lucky, I don’t know what else is!! And with this great power comes great responsibility, which I believe is to “live this one life as if nothing else matters”

Linking it with prompt for Friday Reflections “Lucky”

 

 

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Soul Murmurs

How do you do that? “, she asked him in wonder.

Do what?“,he looked at her quizzingly.

You just said what I was about to say, the exact same words“, she exclaimed!!

Oh that!!.Don’t tell anyone. It’s a secret.

He then adjusted his voice and told me “I have this powerful weapon with me to make a connection with the soul of the every person I meet.It’s not their thoughts in the head or the words of their heart but the real murmur of the soul.” His charming laughter broke my thoughts.

***

I am not ready, yet“, he said.

At that moment she knew, she had lost him forever.

No, please don’t.Those are not the words my soul is trying to tell you.”,she murmured.

***

So ? ” she asked.

I think, no… I know, I have been a stupid to listen to my ego than my soul when it told me to hold on to you.Though I boasted about making a connection to people’s soul’s I could not connect to my own.I am sorry….I really am“, he said apologetically.

Oh that’s okay, it happens“.She dismissed him.

She wondered if he could hear her soul now, after all these years…

***

 

Courtesy : Google Images / http://purplecyanidediamond.deviantart.com/art/if-you-walk-away-every-day-it-ll-rain-287273535

 

In response to the  Friday Reflections: “The shattering of a heart when being broken is the loudest quiet ever.”
― Carroll Bryant

 

My driving force..

when I feel all down and wrong about life, she makes faces in an attempt to make me laugh.

when I feel all happy and laughing, she makes me laugh even harder make me realize that I am not trying enough.

when I eat out of obligation at the office or as the courtesy to my friends without even being hungry, I remember how my girl refuses to eat until she is truly hungry.No wonder that she does not put on weight 🙂

when I feel sleepy and drowsy such that even the mere thinking of bed makes me sleep, she says “mama, one more round of drama and storytelling and singing please and there I realize, I can push so much further.

when I slowly tiptoe away from her bed so as to not wake her and takes out my mental to-do list, just when I am about to close the door I find her sitting up and all laughing,there I mentally erase all of my to do 😛

when I feel proud of myself in achieving a target at office,she makes me prouder when she tries to recite her rhymes and my targets look minuscule when compared to hers.

when I feel life has given me so many challenges, she sprang into my arms reminding me the times how she came back from the end of life

when I don’t find enough time to spend with her and feel all guilty,she waits for us at the doorstep and promptly run towards her father 😛

My little “N” has slowly and truly become the driving force of my life 🙂

Living my Imperfect Life

The Life!

Once upon a time there lived a little girl,happily talking to herself,playing with colors,doing things that made her happy.As time flew by,she went to school that supposedly help her pave a way in this world.In order to stay at the top of the race amongst her friends,she was molded into someone else.The essence of “her” started mixing up with what she must become as sought by the world lead to new definitions ,dreams and desires in her life about what she would become in “future”,those places she will travel “alone”,how life would sprout beyond the daily scenes.

And then came the rebel days.Then the remorse days.Then the whining and cribbing days.Then the depressional days.Every single event made a deep impression upon her life,molding and modifying her thoughts about her life, society and family.The thoughts and dreams she had about life remained that way.She became so hard to even think about a possibility of life beyond her routines.The world around her changed,miles ahead but she is stuck,some place reminding herself of what she could have been,what she could have done to change the world.She has grown into a beautiful lady,fulfilling desires of her family,working as society expected,but inside,she is hurt,fearful,bolted up with emotions.She knows this way of life is not what she wanted,but still she is powerless!!

No,I never thought I will be doing what I am doing right now.Not even in my wildest dreams,coz I never really knew what I wanted to do with my life.I am just a follower,following those who walked before me,following some age-old instructions,following into some unknown outcomes of life.Never once did I knew or realize that I can move a muscle to make a change and figure out what I want in my life,with my life.Only today did I realize the true meaning of this quote ““Someone once told me the definition of Hell: The last day you have on earth, the person you became will meet the person you could have become.” Anonymous .And that is because of I feel a twitch in my heart or a knot in my stomach which constantly reminds me that something is not right,that I am living a life handcrafted for someone else!!

In response to the prompt from #FridayReflections  – “Did you think you’d be doing what you’re currently doing in life? Write a personal essay.” 

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